I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
