is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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