Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
