Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
