Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I did not marry a roomba.
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