Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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