How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize