Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
birth control should be required to get into college
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
