people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Welp...herpes.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
