i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
