i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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