So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
