Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
