margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
