i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
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