so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
