Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
