sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
