are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
