Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize