There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
