The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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