You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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