I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
