Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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