Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Everyone says I win the strip club
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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