i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
