I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
