I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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