Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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