Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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