Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
