And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
