mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
