Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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