It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
