sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
