remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Randomize