Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
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