No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
