the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
