Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
