There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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