ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
