ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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