Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
