You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize
