i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Someone signed my nipple.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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