I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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