I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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