I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
