Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize