i think i have two assholes
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
