Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
