so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
