She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
