is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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