doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
